What I see and what I think about it.

Wednesday, 6 February 2008

Why I choose to stay at home - part 1

A number of people ask why I choose to stay at home with my small children. Here in England it is becoming more and more common for mothers to go back to work. It saddens me to think of the time they are missing out on (the children and the mothers).
I am under no illusions. It is hard to stay at home, to be interrupted all the time, to be "helped" when going to the toilet, to cook and clean, to repeat things over and over and over and over. I am also aware that I am not (nor will I ever be) the perfect mother. I can only do my best (and sometimes that is quite enough of a challenge). But I wouldn't miss this time for anything. How long do we have our children for? How long will they want us around for? The other day Martha told me I am her best friend, how could I become that if I never saw her.
I have decided to be there. Physically present in my children's lives.
I used to look after a little boy and walk him home from the school bus. On the journey home he would tell me about his day, what had happened, how he was. Once he spent the whole journey telling me one joke (which I might put up here if you are very lucky!). By the time we got home the time had passed. He was tired and wanted to chill out. The time for talk had gone. I got to share that time, his mother didn't and that saddened me and made me realise that I wanted that time with my children.
I will never know in advance when something major is going to happen and I would hate it to be on the day when someone else was there. I would miss it.

So I may not be the best mother, I may get cross, I may shout and be grumpy. But I will be there. I will learn this new life, this new task that I and God have set me. And with His help it will be a success. Maybe not in the way I expect.
But in the way that really matters.


noel said...

Hey! That was right after our conversation. I didn't upset you did I? Or did it just inspire you to tell one and all?
There's a big difference between working a bit and going full time. I just worry for you because in your position your job is 24/7.

Anonymous said...

Hello Amy, just wanted to say in support of this post how obvious it is when you have a child that does/did have support from home in the pre school years. I would go so far as to say that it puts them academical and definatly socially further ahead than their peers. It is just a sad reflection of society that both sets of parents often do have to go out to work. I think in an ideal world a child would have a stay at home parent, mum or dad. Be able to get into all the scrapes that we were able to as children and learn from them. Also to experience the freedom we did as children. But I guess we don't live in an ideal world, mud pie anyone? Andrew aka Bugsy...