What I see and what I think about it.

Sunday, 2 March 2008

In praise of mothers

I have been blessed with 4 mothers. One biological, one given to me by my parents and two by marriage (my dad’s and my own). They are all very special ladies. I wanted to share a bit about each of them on this day, when mothers everywhere should be sitting with their feet up feeling loved by their children.
I will talk about them in the order I acquired them:

My Mother
Never Mum, often Mummy, sometimes Marmee, mostly Mother. I have put my mother through a lot. As I think all daughters do. But as a baby/child I had a lot of things done to my hips because I had clicky hips (hip joints that aren’t properly formed). I was in hospital a lot. Although I don’t remember this I have a great admiration for whatever my parents did in hospital. I feel like it could have left me one of two ways, with a great fear or a great peace about hospitals. I always feel very peaceful in hospitals, I even like the smell. I think about this now I have my own children and think how practical and no-nonsensey my mother was. It was good. It gave me a very good foundation.
I have always known, with both my parents, that no matter what I did or said they would love me. I grew up knowing that, being surrounded by it. It had a profound impact and is something that I want to pass on to my own children. It made me feel very secure.
My mother is a great support to me now. We spend a lot of time together and she is helpful without intruding. She helps with the girls a lot. I am grateful that she supports me without taking over. Gives advice without moaning (too much!) if I don’t follow it. She lets me be me.
Oscar Wilde said that “all women turn into their mothers, that is their downfall”. When I tell the girls to put their feet down and sit up properly it is my mother’s voice that comes out. It is sometimes scary but also quite comforting that wisdom passes down through women, mother to daughter. I look forward to the day when my girls complain they sound like me and I will say, with a smile on my face, …. “actually you sound like Granny!”

My Godmother
My parents choose this mother for me. And I will be forever grateful. She is an amazing lady who has loved, supported and cared for me for as long as I can remember. My mother once said that a Godparent should be an extra adult who is just yours. That is what my Godmother is for me. I have always felt very special to her. She is overwhelmingly caring. Even though we don’t see each other as much as I would like I know that she is always there for me. She has helped me through some difficult things and I hope that she knows just how much she has helped me. When I think of her home it is always a place of comfort and welcome. There is always a magazine for you to read, a blanket to put over you on the sofa, a cup of tea and a friendly chat. What more can I say. She is a super lady.

My Step Mother
When my father re-married I gained a stepmother. This could have been a really trying and difficult experience. But it wasn’t. This wasn’t because I were old (well, in my 20s). This is because of the love that this lady had for my father and this love flowed onto me and my brother. We were (and are) made to be most welcome in their house. And most welcomed by her. She didn’t just marry my father but she married into a family. And she takes that responsibility very seriously. She cares for me. She looks after me. She is always pleased to chat on the phone. She makes me feel greatly valued. I am thankful to have her in my life.

My Mother-in-law
There are a lot of jokes and not very nice comments about mother-in-laws. None of them are true here. My mother-in-law is kind and gentle and caring. She has raised 4 lovely children. She cares for them all deeply. Her relationship with Jesus flows into how she deals with people every day. I know that although we don’t see her as often as we would like that she is always supporting us with her prayers. They make a huge difference. She is always encouraging. She has made me feel truly welcome in her family. She is the reason that I have such a kind and loving husband. He learnt it from her.

In life you rarely get to choose your mother/s but I truly believe that you get the ones you do for a reason. All 4 of these lovely ladies have helped to guide, support and shape me. Today on this most motherly of days I want to say:


jacqui said...

Thank you Amy! It's taken me a while to read as my eyes kept welling up! :) Those who are loved give love! X

Anonymous said...

I am so glad to have found your blog. I got to it somehow from the CF blog.

"Mothering Day" is a wonderful concept. In America, we have "Mother's Day" which is somehow too restrictive, I think.Your appreciate of the women who have "mothered" you is very nice. My own mother recently went to be with the Lord. I miss her, but I am very much like her and hope to be the kind of woman she was.