What I see and what I think about it.

Saturday, 7 June 2008

Avoiding the question

There is a question that I try never to ask myself. It is just dangerous to go there and so I choose not too. The question?
"Am I a good mother?"
It makes me panic.... The things is, what is a good mother? Each child is different and so each mother has to be different. I have good days and some bad days and some days when my husband walks in the door and I walk out! I hope that the good days out weigh the bad. I think they do. The thing with being a mother is that you really are making it up as you go along. There is no manual. Well, actually there aer about 1000 manuals but none of them are about me and my children. I have to write that one as I go along. And just about when you have it sussed and all is running smooth you breath a little to deeply and your child goes into the next phase and you start back at "WHAT IS GOING ON?"
There are really only two (soon to be three) people who could answer the question with any authority. They are the ones who live with my successes and mistakes. I might not ask how they think I'm doing while they are 4 and 2. Unless I have just fed them chocolate cake, of course. I hope that when they have children they will forgive me the mistakes as they make their own. and build on the success that, I hope, I will be more remembered for.
In the mean time I just do my best. I have the help of a fantastic husband and a gracious God. And when it comes to "that" question I just have to say... "Whether I am having a good or bad day, I am the mother God has given my children. He has his reasons. And I will trust them."

1 comment:

Lilla said...

Well I think the evidence is in your beautiful and loving children - perhaps I am a little biased but personally I think you're doing a great job! L XXX